The un-funny side of cartoons…
The Badger Herald of the University of Wisconsin has stated they believe that there is an endangerment of free speech, given the general prudishness of the American press.
State Universities including Wisconsin, Harvard, Northern Illinois, and Illinois State have republished some of the cartoons of the prophet Mohammad, saying the painful clash of two seemingly values so often embraced in university environments, namely “freedom of speech” and “sensitivity to other cultures”. Right now the two are being given a “rough ride” against each other.

Reviewing, then speaking out against the publication of cartoons in the student paper of the University of Illinios, which are already causing riots, destruction and death, Richard Herman, the Chancellor of the University of Illinois said, “I believe that the Daily Illini's (D.I. Newspaper) could have engaged its readers in legitimate debate about the issues surrounding the cartoons' publication in Denmark without publishing them.” He went on to say, “It is possible, for instance, to editorialize about pornography without publishing pornographic pictures." (Where the hell is the fun in that?)

Illinois Uni-student, 18 year old Cody Kay asks, "What happened to freedom of speech? If we start saying we can't look at things, what's next, our books?"

American, you're scaring me more each day...
As reported in the New York Times (17 February) the Bush administration presses on with an aggressive campaign against leaks of sensitive information, with some Congressional Republicans joining Democrats, giving support to government employees, who say they have been punished for disclosing sensitive information on reported abuses, some claiming they were threatened and intimidated and told their lives would be ruined, all because they wanted to tell the truth.

There seems to the foul smell of Nazism, or is it Communism, in the Washington air. Has the American government become dictatorial and how far will they go to suppress what is actually happening at Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib and unlawful spying on Americans? Will there be courts of inquisitions set up with mysterious disappearances? (I think that is already happening!)

The real problem is that Americans are so used to being pushed around by their government they can’t see the forest for the trees. When you tell them to open their eyes and take a good look around they give you a dumbfounded look and ask, “At what?”

Luckily there are some Republicans siding with Democrats supporting “whistle blowers” saying it is absolutely essential we have a system that allows people to speak out (freely), without fear of retribution, especially in the realm of national security.

I, for one, will be glad to see the end of the Bush Administration. To me, the good old days are long gone, freedoms we once took for granted as our God given right, no longer exist. America is on the long slide downhill and I can’t see a remedy to slow its progress towards destruction. It used to be the majority of world nations feared communism, now they loath what they see as American Imperialism.

Avision into the future…
Michel de Nostrodomus predicted a third and final Great War, a war that would destroy the majority of mankind, declaring the end of the world, as we know it, would start in the Middle East.

Right now it looks as though Nostrodomus predictions are right on track; sad really, that the end of man will be brought about by different beliefs of religion.

Remote control bank robbery…
When you don’t want to do a particular job you get someone else to do it for you. In Maryland, U.S.A., professional bank robbers are kidnapping youths, some as young as 14, from the streets and buses of Bethesda and coercing, using threats of violence against family and friends, then forcing them to go into the banks and demand money from the tellers whilst the real culprit hides outside, out of range of security cameras.

This has happened at least three times in the last month.

Alibi’s on tap if you need one…
If you are having an affair and need an air-tight, cast-iron alibi, FakeAlibi.co.uk is the place to go. The home page states unequivocally, “Stop juggling your balls.” It goes on to say they are the only website that gives you assistance, in whatever you are doing.

These people at FakeAlibi really do go overboard, posting you an invitation to a fake conference or seminar and/or training weekend, along with a false hotel booking confirmation. They will even supply a telephone number, which, if rung by the inquisitive significant other, will be answered by an agent pretending to be a hotel receptionist or seminar organiser.

By the way, a similar website in America, AlibiNetwork.com, will even send a certificate of completion of whichever course you're supposed to have been on to your home afterwards, plus a class photo with you in it.

Cheaters and adulterers with a good imagination may concoct their own alibi, for which FakeAlibi.co.uk are more than happy to supply the corroborative fake documentation. Others prefer to put themselves unreservedly in FakeAlibi's capable hands and let them dream up some 'cock and bull' story.

Rob Leonard, head liar and marketing guru of FakeAlibi.co.uk claims it’s mainly the male clients that leave details of the sought after alibi to their website workers, whereas female clientele, who actually comprise 50% of the sites customers are a lot more hands-on. "By and large the women are far more devious than the men," he stated. "They've usually got their alibi worked out, right down to the last detail."

And all this lying at a good price, £49.99 U.K. pounds. FakeAlibi is boasting a client base of more than 21,000 satisfied customers, the incorrigibles among them paying a fixed monthly retainer.

There are only four full-time managers with alibi’s coming in from an estimated 600 people on retainers (operatives) from around the world, most of whom have day jobs. Let me give you an example of how effective this service is: FakeAlibi.co.uk was contacted by an Asian woman who had been forced into an arranged marriage in London. She wanted to see her former boyfriend in France. We set things up so that the client would tell her husband she was going to Belgium for a couple of days with a friend. We faxed a hotel booking confirmation from Belgium that included a number of the fictional hotel that the husband could ring. This was a pay-as-you-go mobile number obtained by one of our French agents, who nipped across the border to purchase the Sim card in Belgium. The husband didn't ring, but the back-up was there just in case." This alibi cost around her £350.

“The people who come to us are already having affairs. People having affairs are often not doing so because they want to destroy everything, but for many other reasons. By helping to conceal the affair, we are actually assisting the stability of family life."

This is a job I prefer to domyself…
How would you like a job where you get to have sectioned sex? Sounds almost too good too be true!

In Virginia, Spotsylvania County Sheriff Howard D. Smith said yesterday that he has suspended the practice of allowing detectives to receive sexual services during prostitution investigations, a technique that brought the quiet Virginia hamlet attention by the journalistic press of America, indeed the press of the world.

Howie says, "As Sheriff, I understand the feelings and concerns the citizens of this county have expressed, and I empathize with those feelings."

To crack down on prostitution in county massage parlours, detectives visited Moon Spa three times in January. Because the masseuses (alleged prostitutes) had such poor command of the English language, it would have been nearly impossible to prove a case if sex hadn’t taken place. In Virginia the offer of sex for money and touching are legal , you need more than that to make a case. County peace-keepers, on at least four different occasions paid for massages, baths and sexual acts, according to court documents.

But get this, on one occasion; the Sheriff Deputies actually left a $350 U.S. dollar tip.

How is a prosecutor supposed to prove a case against the massage parlour madam and its owners if the police officer arrests the hooker before the marked money paid to her for sex can move into the madam's hands?

Love it or leave it, that seems a fair choice…
The Muslims in Briton want to form their own state. What a load of rubbish! If the Muslims want to live in an Islamic State then they should go back where they came from or back to their ancestral lands. But No! These people are in the UK because life is so much better than in their homeland (wherever that might be), jobs pay more money, housing and benefits are better, and yet they aren’t happy.

So I will state it once again, loud and clear, “If you aren’t happy living in the UK, go back to where you bloody well came from!”

Hey, we have the same problem here in Australia; people from other countries who refuse to assimilate into our society, couldn’t be bothered to learn our language and contribute nothing to the Aussie way of life. Why did we even bother to let them in!

“Look! I like just about everybody, and contrary to some of the of-the-wall comments that I write, here in Australia we generally have a multi-national society who work, live and get on with one another quite well. It is just those nog-heads that come here (from lots of various countries) and want to change our way of living, trying to inflict their old way of life on us.”

The Georgie and Dickie show…
It appears no criminal charges will be levelled at Americas Vice President, over the accidental shooting of his hunting partner, Texas Lawyer, 78 year old Harry Whittington. Even though Dick admitted pulling the trigger, gunning down his close friend, the Kennedy County Sheriff’s Department investigating officers said no charges are warranted.

Dick claims he will never get over seeing his friend shot and falling to the ground. Onya Dickie boy, but what about the teenage soldiers fighting in Afghanistan and Iraq that sees these scenes everyday of his combat life!

George W has said he believes the account given by the VP, but declined an invitation to go duck hunting with Dick next time he goes unless he lets their secret services guys do the shooting.