What a bummer ♥

Fear and loathing, yes, today is the day that many of us would rather ignore. I, personally, do not have a girlfriend (or boyfriend) so I am not really affected by the events of February 14, except I get to watch insipid television commentators on morning television programs go on about dating, love and marriage.
Please, give me a break; I do not need to be reminded that I am single and lonely.
After a bit of research I found out what some of the glamour people in Hollywood think of Valentine’s Day and would like to pass on their comments:

Salma: “I am suspicious of those who have to let the world know how much they love each other. It’s a little sad when you have to brag about how much you love someone.” (Hey Tom, are you paying attention?)

Teri: “It’s been ages since I last had sex. Since I’m working long hours, I don’t even have time to meet guys, much less get asked out on a date. I happen to enjoy sex just as much as I enjoy feeling close to a man on every other level.
I’m just thankful I have some fancy electronics around the house. People seem shocked by that, but I guarantee you that most women in their 30’s or 40’s have an electronic friend somewhere within reach for those long, lonely nights, and that applies whether you are married or single!” (Teri, perhaps I might be able to help, my number is +61419……I too am desperate!)

Sophie Monk: “There’s a big wide world out there, and it’s full of men, so live a little and try some different flavours. (My kind of girl!!)
Jessica’s latest offering is Date Movie, her first Hollywood film. Her character is a totally bitchy ex-girlfriend who lives life in a skimpy bikini.

Hey Dick, good shot…

Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded one of his companions while on a quail hunting trip in southern Texas.
Now let me get this straight Mr. Vice President, this 78 year old man looked like a small bird taking to the air when you swung around and pulled the trigger…
Now my question is, if this would have been Mr. Joe Average Citizen, he would have been arrested, hand-cuffed and taken downtown for questioning, then charge with negligent gun handling. As Dick is not above the law, why was he allowed to not report the alleged accident for 48-hours, get on a plane and leave town?
The answer, obviously, is Dick, like his good mate George W ARE above the law.

Today’s Sport Story…

For $1.99 U.S. dollars you will now be able to download the bikini-clad models of Sports Illustrated onto your I-pod, your cellphone (mobile phone to us people) and other hand held devices through a partnership with American Greetings.
(I thing you all know what my hand held device is – hey, remember, I’m single!)
This will be much cheaper than buying the magazine that sells for $5.99 U.S. dollars at the newsstand for the swimsuit issue. If you are interested these stunning beauties can be found at sportsillustrated.com and videos of the girls at iTunes.com (Bottles of massage oil can be purchased at your local supermarket)

May I see your boarding pass please…

Here’s one for the books, seems an Indonesian Airline Boeing 737, carrying 145 passengers, got lost somewhere over Java, for more than 4-hours. The pilot was admitted to flying blind over the mountainous island as the aircrafts vital communications and navigation systems failed approximately 20-minutes after take-off.
Australian airlines Qantas has been in negotiations with Indonesian airlines Adam Air to purchase 50% of the regional carrier, emphasising the Indonesian crews would get added training and safety instructions. (Perhaps Qantas could sweeten the pot by also including map reading.)
All in all, the situation could have been worse, the 737 could have crashed into Java’s inaccessible mountainous jungles. Instead, the well trained pilots (giggle-giggle) made an emergency landing at an airstrip what was about 400-metres short of the recommended space needed to land one of these Boeing babies.
(An old Aussie joke about Indonesian pilots – “What you do is put all these monkeys up a tree, then give the tree a big strong shake. Those that manage to stay in the tree become pilots, those that fall out of the tree, they become ground staff.)

And now to the beauty from Newcastle…

The lovely Jennifer Hawkins, who once accidentally exposed her derriere on the catwalk, is now being paid $1 Aust. Dollars to do it all again, this time showing off her touché wearing underwear from Loveable.
The beautiful Ms. Hawkins also gets to help create and design some of the lovely unmentionables.
I wonder if loveable realises that men will be in the majority when it comes to hitting their web site www.loveable.com.au
Jen also has her hand in promoting Pepsi (Australia & New Zealand), Lux body wash, Myer Department Store and a 5-star residential development in Hong Kong. Jen also appears on a travel program in Australia, getting to jet around the world promoting tourism.
(If you would like to refresh your memory of this lovely lass, go to Google search and have a look! We breed them beautiful, with brains here in Oz.)

And finally today, on a serious note, when Life is Life…

Renae Lawrence, one of the accused Bali nine was convicted and sentenced yesterday to Life Imprisonment, for trying to smuggle 2.2 kilograms of heroine that was strapped to her body.
The Indonesians are trying to get a message through, loud and clear, they will not tolerate drug running or substance abuse.
Outside of the fact the Bali nine could have faced the firing squad I feel this is an adequate sentence. If you are dumb enough to do the crime then you must pay the price of doing the time.

Stay tuned, same Bat time, same Bat channel…
Oh, and have a good day!