Some More Facts Of Life

Who Cares…

What about the cat-fight back-stage at the Grammy’s, Mariah Carey and Madonna both wanting to do the opening act? Seems Madonna threw a tantrum and told the producers that if she didn’t go on first, she just wouldn’t go on. As a matter of fact, Madonna, in her ultimatum to the producers, even threatened not to grace their presence with her presence.
For a member of the “over the hill gang”, (a real has-been in my opinion) to hold her breath until she turns blue and spin around on the floor whilst having a tantrum, should be ashamed of herself.
Then there is the other one, Mariah. She has a great rack and I’m sure her legs go all the way to her armpits and by far are much better looking than her counterpart, but really, who gives a rat’s arse.
I personally find the Grammy’s boring, loud and the participants and recipients boorish and loud.

It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want too…

Jessica Simpson, Brad and Angie, Britney, Nicole Richie, Sienna Miller (?) and Paris Hilton, the most fought over people for space on supermarket shelves published by different rags not worthy of toilet paper after having been read. Seriously, why the dog-fight as the stories are usually made up to begin with, full to the brim with horrifying or spectacular head-spinning freakish garbage about their daily lives and betrayals. I loath to call these headline attention tabloids “magazines”.
These so called “stars” must have nothing better to do than create situations that are suitably shocking, secret, steamy or drug related, so the spotlight will always shine on them. If you are looking for the true essence of the kingdom of a celebrity, look for the vainglorious pointless nature of their fundamentally vacuous lives.

By the way, Happy Chinese New Year, year of the Dog. This brings to mind the British beauty Jordan, who turned up at an official Chinese New Year do wearing a see through dress, accompanied by her wildly gesticulating husband Peter Andre. I mean this girl has a pair of elephantine puppies, worthy of being mounted in a trophy case (or just plain mounted). Ahhh, the paparazzi would have eaten this up.

Now for the putrid attention-seeking wanna-be’s, Kate Moss visiting the Police of her own volition to tell her side of the story, although it has been claimed that she heard a rumour that there is some cocaine stored at the cop-shop and she clearly wanted to make a withdrawal. Then there’s Lindsay Lohan swinging from a lap-dancers pole with Kate in tow and looking on, then losing her way and wandering around Miami in her slip in the wee hours of the morning.

And I have got to tell you, I really don’t care about Mary and Frederik, or their little one, or the palace in Denmark. If you are a magazine publisher or a member of the paparazzi, then be warned, stories and pictures of this royal household will not, I repeat, will not entice me to purchase your rag.

An evening in Paris…
Poor old favourite blonde bombshell, I still love you and you can come hang with me anytime you like.
Get this, after calling one of her latest boyfriend’s closest friends “a lazy Mexican” and allegedly bombarding the poor lazy Mexican bastard with tons of telephone calls, lazy Mexican party planner and promoter Brian Quintana took poor Paris to court and won a restraining order against her so she would leave him alone.
This stupid, lazy Mexican arsehole has obviously not seen the Paris Hilton Sex Video she made with one of her previous boyfriends. I am confident that if he would have viewed the tape, or even had a look at the Carl Jr. advert (Directors cut of course), he wouldn’t have been frothing off at the mouth in the Los Angeles Superior Court, instead he probably would have been on the phone to Paris trying to get her to hang out with him.
For your information, Paris is now dating Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos. *Can’t wait to see the next instalment!
Lovely Paris Hilton, famous for a very nice smelling perfume and a television program “The Simple Life”, among other things, really is quite a simple girl, the truth be known. In a recent interview Ms Hilton regarding a British court case, thinks everyone in Europe speaks French, that there is nothing to see (as she is an American) and that she has never been to the U.K., but admitted she has been to London. She claims to have so many friends she cannot remember any of their names. This truly is a blonde bombshell who is constantly in the mood to party, doesn’t really matter who as she’ll probably forget you as soon as she walks to the other side of the room. Paris seems to be a walking case of progressive Dementia.
You hang in there girlfriend, I still love you!

*If you haven’t seen the Paris Hilton Sex Tape, search Google. There you will find several links.

Desperation…

Here in Australia the new season has started for Lost, Law & Order (SVU), Prison Break, Cold Case, ER and other favourite American produced programs, and started with a bang!
Desperate Housewives attracted a viewing audience of 2.2 million viewer’s first night into the new season, peaking at 2.4 million between the time-slots of 8:30 to 9:30. Wow! The reason behind the success of this show, in my humble opinion, is the casting, full of sexy, beautiful women with great personalities that I am sure all men would like to get close too. We, as males, dream of having a wife that looks as good, is as exciting and vibrant and has a life of her own.
There are two major networks in Australia, 7 & 9. 9 used to be king but the planners and buyers of 7 got in first to purchase the better shows out of America.
Australia is stuck with mediocre productions like; Home & Away (really bad), Neighbours (has gone downhill since Kylie left), Blue Heelers (where did Lisa McCune go…and why?), Hot Property (who cares) and two current affairs programs, ACA and Today/Tonight, both newsy programs without much news, just trailer-trash journalism.
One would think the programming department of any major television network would listen to their viewers. One would think wrong!

Tom Yanks…

May 19, the set date for the release of Dan Brown’s novel turned into film and starring Tom Hanks, is set to get the religious community arguing yet again. For those of you that haven’t read “The Da Vinci Code”, don’t bother if you plan on seeing the film. As is history, motion pictures never really do justice to a good book.
The storyline: an albino Opus Dei monk named Silas and a very secretive group whose members practice ritualistic torture. In a race to get something somewhere, someone does something that slows someone else down as they try to discover something else, and someone else other than the first someone does something that will end up someplace at the end of the movie.
Of course there really is a group calling themselves Opus Dei, whose leaders tried to get Sony Pictures not to do the film, claiming a great distortion and doing the group a grave injustice. Seems they weren’t too successful at their attempts.
By the way, the character of isn’t as fictional as you would think. A real Silas Agbim, a Nigerian-born stockbroker, lives in Brooklyn, New York. Anyway, the movie is set to become a major discussion at high morning teas throughout the British Empire as well as the rest of the Imperialistic war-mongering world.

Have you heard…

A group of 25 scientists from assorted countries like Oz, Indo, Yanks and possibly a Pom and a German, while on an expedition to bond with each other in the wilds of eastern Indonesia, or is that western New Guinea, no one is certain which country actually claims the 3000 square kilometre area, have found yet another “Garden of Eden”.
Swearing that man has (probably) never set foot in this region, new species of butterflies, frogs, marsupials and other animals are not afraid of humans. Just wait until they are being dressed up and trussed up for roasting over an open camp fire, they’ll certainly learn fear then.
Yes, a place yet devoid of empty VB and Coke cans, cigarette butts and plastic bags, a place I feel should be kept secret from the rest of the world. Hey, the cannibals that live in the area hasn’t even ventured into the area. Is this because of superstition or because there really is a lost world where dinosaurs still roam. Hey, they are not that far from Komodo Island, an island in the Indonesian archipelago with real flesh- eating Dragons. (Would I make this up?)
Reminds me of the story of the Spanish conquistadors that invaded the peaceful, fun loving people of Mexico, stole their recipe for tequila and then in a drunken stupor butchered them.
The only way I can relate this story with the discovery of a Lost World is once people have got what they want they’ll destroy it in some manner or other. Maybe a Hilton Hotel with Greg Norman designed 18-hole golf course.
Four!!!!!

Don’t get mad, get even…

Will there be a woman in the White House after the next Presidential race holding the highest executive position in the world, President?
Seems like Laura Bush is trying to convince Condoleezza Rice tip her handbag into the ring while further up the States, Hillary Rodham Clinton looks to be gearing up for the big race. This has got all the trimmings of a real bitch-fight and has to be more interesting than a bunch of rich old boys slugging it out for the presidential chair.
But wait…seems Hillary Rodham (Democrat – New York) recently dismissed a Republican leaders charge that if she runs for office in 2008, she’ll probably fail as voters tend to not like “angry candidates”.
Well, let me tell you how pissed off Hillary Rodham was at this remark, stating, “I would suggest that the Washington Republicans worry about these devastating budget cuts, the confusion and bureaucratic nightmare in the prescription drug benefit – that that’s where they should be spending their time and energy, instead of trying to divert attention away from their many failures and shortcomings.”
Does she sound pissed off to you? Does to me! The Republicans hit back immediately, saying, “Senator Clinton would better serve her constituents and her country by focusing less on predictable partisan rhetoric, and more on solutions.”
Ah, American politics.

And what about…

You would think some people who attended the memorial service for Coretta Scott King would have felt embarrassment for some of the acid comments directed at the Bush government by a succession of celebrities, including civil rights and political leaders.
Laura and George W sat perched on stage during a six-hour service attended by more than 10,000 people including former Presidents Jimmy Carter, George Bush (George W’s father) and Bill Clinton, televised nationally on cable television.
While people were serving it up to Bush, several people in the audience wearing NSA jackets, were seen with hand held video cameras and taking names. (Sorry, my imagination just got carried away, don’t know what got into me!)
Bush was crucified on topics like Hurricane Katrina relief and why the white people got all the goodies, how much more money can you spend in Iraq before the coffers are empty and the most important question of the day, “Why are you still here?”
This was a great opportunity for George W to come face to face with some of his enemies.
I bet he just couldn’t wait to get home!

And finally today…the good news!

Eat up! It seems the latest study of low-fat diets failed to lower rates of cancer and heart disease, according to the forthcoming American Medical Journal.
This finding overturns more than three decades of conventional wisdom and shows that eating less fat does not significantly reduce the risk of heart disease, stroke breast cancer or colorectal cancer.
This $415 million (U.S.) study looked at basically low-fat, high-starch diets, and guess what? These diets struck out!
It was pointed out over a sausage fest at the end of the study that you shouldn’t load up on sausages (they were running low), butter or fast foods.
But aside from that, the big winner of the day, the end of the low-fat era.
Stick that down your cake hole!

That’s it for today, see you tomorrow for another day of big news. Me? I’m going to thaw a packet of sausages and butter up some bread for a bbq later in the day to celebrate.